Robot Lover

I was living in the USSR or a country very like it

there was this national hero who was coming back from some mission

and the people were wild about him

and his love story with his sweetheart

but it turned out that all the people had been sprayed with pheromones

so we all went awwwww no matter what

and actually he was a bit of a pig

and then he was assigned a job cleaning up radioactive dust with his friend

and they had sort of robot suits to wear

and the bosses were coming and his friend didn’t put his suit on fast enough

but the hero guy was too old and bulky

and the younger friend got given a slimmer modern robot costume

and he put on the helmet saying “I am truly alone now”

you could no longer tell he wasn’t a robot

and he had no job for a while things looked bleak

but then he got a job at a roller rink

and his new sleek look was very popular with the ladies

he was like a robot sex toy

meanwhile the hero guy just got forgotten about and cleaned up radioactive dust forever